Praise the Lord! Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens! Praise him for his mighty deeds; praise him according to his excellent greatness! Praise him with trumpet sound; praise him with lute and harp! Praise him with tambourine and dance; praise him with strings and pipe! Praise him with sounding cymbals; praise him with loud clashing cymbals! Psalm 150:1-6
Earlier this week I came across an article in Newsweek Magazine intended on raising awareness of the hardships of raising a child with special needs. The article highlighted on the specific needs of the adult child, and how strenuous life can be for the parents and families. The article even mentioned that many parents with special needs children suffer from post traumatic stress disorder, and understandably so. Reading the article, I was forced to think of Jacob’s life as an adult, something that I admit I often avoid. Simply, the thought terrifies me.
In the middle of our nighttime routine, while brushing Jacob’s teeth, I was flooded by a very vivid memory. Nearly one year ago, just before having Jacob diagnosed with ASD, I was experiencing the very same scenario, yet the situations could not be any more different. As I remember it, I was rolling around on the bathroom floor pleading with my two-year old to brush his teeth. But as determined as I was to brush his teeth, he was just as determined to keep his mouth clamped shut. I was defeated, and sobbing uncontrollably out of both frustration and desperation. Seeing me upset sent Jacob into tears as well. Climbing into my lap, he made me make eye contact with him, and what he was unable to tell me in words, I heard in his eyes. He wanted to be understood just as much as I did, but we were both silenced by autism.
Now, Jacob is allowing me to brush his teeth with little to no resistance (most of the time). Another major improvement – we finally found a car seat that Jacob does not escape from. Up until a couple of weeks ago, Jacob was a natural Houdini when it came to maneuvering his way out of his seat.
Yesterday was observation day at the center. WOW! The improvement in Jacob’s communication and behavior over the past six months is truly remarkable. Jacob was verbally requesting so many things, and the fact that Tyler and I were sitting in the room with him did not seem to distract him from following directions from his therapist. On the playground, Jacob used his PECS book to request to go back inside to use the restroom, but just before going in he turned and shouted “peace out” to the other children. We were shown how Jacob has been working on taking his temperature and practicing appropriate behavior doctor visits, when I took the opportunity to ask if they had been working on teeth brushing at the center. It turns out that Jacob has not been working on brushing his teeth at school, but the behaviors he is working on are carrying over into other aspects at home. Jacob’s therapist mentioned that they will be video taping his progress next week to compare to his intake video made on his first day at the center, and I’m certain that watching that video will be bittersweet.
Today I am thankful for the parent support group that Tyler and I attended yesterday. There are so many parents that we cannot relate to and vice versa, but what a sense of comfort it is talking with someone who has walked in our shoes. I would encourage all parents of children with autism or ASD to find a support group. I know I wish we would have attended meetings a year ago.
Count It All Joy 